Presents

1st Annual Bicycle Bar Rally

September 5, 2010

Kobalt, Park Central Mall, Phoenix, AZ
Registraion @ 10:30am
$15 per person, includes t-shirt

I must give credit to Craigslist once again in helping me find yet another great deal on another household item.

This will undoubtedly make doing friends hair at home much more pleasant endeavor for both myself and them.

Once you become accustomed to the hydraulic pump and swivel, there’s no going back to a static chair.

Now to build some business.  Hint, hint.

Interested?  In Phoenix?  Give me a call:  386-9599

Or drop me a note here:  Contact

When we decided to adopt our little run-away pit bull, Sanchez… I had no idea the little white devil would turn our $40,000 backyard oasis into the killing fields.

First the accent lighting, he’d pull each one out and tear at the wires as if they were deadly snakes… he would protect us from them.  Then the lounge furniture… who needs comfy seats and backings?  They are far more useful as his version of the blow-up sex dolls.  He’d first do his thing to them, then shred them to pieces.  Foam pieces all over the remaining yard and in the pool.  Next the drip system for the landscaping around the pool.  I could go on, but don’t want to bore you.

Other problems were his jumping on EVERYONE and EVERYTHING, his dragging you down the street for his walks and inability to listen or even know his own name.

This would require a lot of training.  We finally found this place and had enough money to get the intense, boot camp training.  This is where they keep him for two weeks.  It was pricey, $1500, but when you consider how much he had already eaten, well worth it.

It was so sad leaving him there.  I felt like I just dropped my boy off at the gates of the state prison.  The look in his eyes and his crying for me as I left were just heart breaking.

When I got home I was well over it.  Thank Buddha… peace and quiet for the next two weeks!

When we went to pick him up, I could not believe the change.  He would suddenly just sit in attention waiting for instructions from me.  It was weird.

The trainer now trains you on how to communicate with him.  I had difficulty at first, one with the body movements and proper tone of voice and also with some of the commands.  Like “Heal”.  What on earth does that mean… lick your wounds?

The instructor was getting frustrated that I wasn’t doing the heal command right.   If I understood what the dog was supposed to do after I say “heal” then maybe I could do it right.

Anyway, after it was all explained we left a very happy new family.

They also offer very affordable boarding services if you go on vacation.

I take away a star for the facilities, kind of run-down and the outdoor boarding.

A Canine Academy, Phoenix, Arizona

Mark Suever – azgays.com

Wow, so much has changed since this full page answering machine ad appeared in 1973.   The December issue of Playgirl featured this PhoneMate 400 alongside “Pyramid Power”, “Better Loving With Occult Energy”.

Looking over the ad, I noticed 7 things that have changed since 1973.  See if you can find all 7.

7 Things Changed Since ’73

Ash tray – Smoking used to be cool in the 70′s, I’ve heard you could even smoke at work… while on the job!  Imagine how your cubicle would smell, yuck.  Oh, never mind… cubicles weren’t invented yet.

Collect Call – The ad text urges you to call collect to their “HOTLINE”.  Collect?  Are they crazy?  No, actually toll-free really didn’t catch on big until the 1980′s.   Here I was thinking it had always been around.

The 50 Cents – 129.50?  Who cares about the change, ads now-a-days are in dollars, not cents.  In today’s economy, we’ve moved the decimal point over if under 65.

Contact Methods – We’ve seen fax numbers come and for the most part, go since ’73.   What about the company web address, or at least email?  Guess we’ve got a few more years before the Commodore 64.

Feminism - The ad screams Feminism… NOW!  Doesn’t it?  Womyn have become liberated and no longer feel the need to wear it on their sleeve.

Rotary Dial to Touch Screen – The yellow Trendline shown is most likely a rotary dial.   Push buttons didn’t really catch-on until the 1980′s.  Soon even those will give way to touch screens, thanks in part to the iPhone.

10 lbs of Tech – What… Did they put rocks in it?  Compare the behemoth PM400, weighing in at 160 ounces to my Motorola at just under 4.

9 lbs of Tech – Check out the Phone Mate 500

See also:  History of Answering Machine

Besides beaming television signals to the Bay Area,  Sutro Tower  has been sending me subliminal messages via the Internet.

“Come home Mark… its not too late, we’re waiting for you.  Signed Sutro, The Mecca, The City”

thomashawk

I was quite pleased with my photo and Photoshop edits, until I found this beauty.  Click to Zoom in!

This shot was taken by Thomas Hawk.  Love your work Thomas.

Fleeing Phoenix

Refugees Streaming North from Desert Shithole, by Grant Crogswell

Grant… Grant, please don’t remind me.  I pretend I can make Phoenix different.  I pretend its getting cooler, both cool-cool and chilly cool.  But its not.

Readers, please help me change my mind or help me buy my tickets to Seattle. How I long for walks down to the (insert cool district name here) on cloudy days in the cool rain.

I learned early on that pit bulls are very difficult to walk.  They have this drive in them to pull with all their might.  It was a constant battle of who was stronger.  He usually won the battle.

After years of struggling with him, I got the idea to let him pull me on the bike.  After a couple near disaster test runs, we both got the hang of him pulling me and now we go on regular rides.

The rides were initially frightening for me, since he would pull so fast and wildly, that we could almost keep up with the cars driving through our neighborhood. 

Recently, he was pulling me and suddenly a gang of chihuahuas came out of nowhere.  Sanchez and I didn’t know what to think.  It was like a scene out of Beverly Hills Chihuahua Gone Mad.  There must have been five or six of them.  None of them seemed phased by Sanchez muscle nor size.  Sanchez just looked confused.

Luckily the owner came out and yelled at the dogs to stop and we escaped without incident.     Sanchez looks are really only useful to humans, the other dogs dont ever seem afraid of Sanchez.  I think they can sense he’s just a big boy.

Images courtesy of Shankbone, Mud Flats & Zayebo

Flavonoids help your memory and prevent certain types of cancer cells.

Foods rich in these anti-oxidants are apples, dark red or black grapes, cranberry, blueberry, strawberry, bilberry, blackberry, eggplant, peppers, broccoli and onions.

Grape Cod

• 1oz. Grape Flavored Vodka
• Cranberry Juice
• Lime Wedge
• Five Grapes

Highball or rocks glass with ice add vodka.
Fill with cranberry juice.
Squeeze Lime thoroughly & drop in the glass
Top with Five Grapes and serve

42 BELOW

“We drink 32 percent more booze than your typical straight person?”

Yeah, I guess we like to party. Then I started to wonder, is this a good thing or bad thing or just a thing.

Reading through the report, “Consumer Insights - Lesbian, Gay and Bisexual Travel and Alcohol Preferences“ , I immediately made assumptions. I visualized that gay cruise we went on where many of the men unsuccessfully tried to carry on a few extra bottles of vodka, stowed away in their luggage.

“It’s gotta be the guys”, I thought… as I stirred the ice in my Grape Cod.

The lesbians weren’t even on my radar, I had imagined the lesbians tending to the home or camping. Now I know differently.

Our women, I have learned are tending to the home and going camping, all the while consuming mass quantities of alcohol. Yes, it was the lesbians who put us over the top!

My hunch:  They’re trying to “out-butch” the straight guys!

So why are we even on this subject? Well, I’ll tell ya. I’ve been trying to think of ways to generate money with this blog.

AZGAYS.COM is the top ranked gay Arizona site according to Alexa.

Compete.com ranks AZGAYS.COM at number two, just behind phoenixpride.org.

However, the Pride site is currently experiencing a bubble, due to our recent pride event. If you adjust the stat’s, taking that into account, my site is looking pretty good!

But how to translate web traffic into web dollars?   I need a corporate sponsor, or at least a corporate ad here and there.   These Infotext links just aren’t cutting it.

My thinking is this:  Perhaps I need to go to one of these big companies, with their big budgets.  Choose the companies  that are likely to spend money on advertising to our niche market.  Companies like American Express, Subaru, Saab, Absolut and new-comer… PRYDE Vodka.

Think I’m going to write up a brief introduction and proposal for the people at PRYDE for starters. I’ll let you know how it goes.

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